Our China Adoption Trip
July 15, 99 - Aug. 10, 99
(Part III)

 

Tuesday July 20, 1999: Honeymoon Ends!
	The Day starts with Mu Ying crying to go home and refuses to get out of bed. This is not unusual behavior. This is the reason that we brought the entire family. We wanted Mu Ying to feel more at home but we knew that she would go through allot of grief.   Things seemed to get better as the day wore on. Mu Ying seemed to want to fit in. At one point she bought ice cream for the other girls.   We spend all of the morning filling out adoption paperwork and speeding from broken building to another.   When we return to the hotel we begin frequenting the Hotel Health Club. This will become a major activity for us in China. The girls love to play on the exercise equipment, swim in the pool, watch TV in the lounge and play with the people who work in the health club.

 

Mu Ying throws her first tantrum as we try to get her to leave the Health Club. She manages to get on the elevator alone and go somewhere.  Paige, Rose and I give chase. This will come to be one of Paige's favorite memories of China, chasing Mu Ying on an elevator. Paige will remark 'there she goes again' each time that Mu Ying high-tails-it to an elevator. Beth continues to act as our premier goodwill ambassador. Beth is widely loved by everyone that we meet.    I have mentioned that the Chinese people are wonderful? We are stunned at the hospitality shown us by all of the people we came into contact with.
	China is wonderfully 'kid friendly'. We where made to feel welcome everywhere that we went. No one ever indicated that they were annoyed that we brought our children into a nice restaurant, health club...  The response was always positive and sincere. Our children where often given small gifts and invited to come for a visit.   The Day ends with Mu Ying crying to go home.

Wednesday 7/21/99:

Begins with Mu Ying crying to go home. I call here Nanny for her. After they talk for a while she quiets down and we go for break fast.   After breakfast some of us go to pickup the adoption paper work. Now we just need the children's passports.   This day we wait around for our paper work to be completed. We do some shopping in the Friendship store. We are trying to find some way to get to know Mu Ying. Mu Ying really seems as though she wants to belong with us.   The language and cultural gap is enormous. It is very difficult to communicate; still I think that we are making progress.   The day ends with more tears, more running away, and a phone call to the nanny.   Thursday 7/22/99: Begins with a major tantrum Mu Ying and Kathryn remain behind in the room while the rest of us to breakfast.   Running away more and more. visit temple in Nan Chang.   Friday 7/23/99: Pickup children's passports. We have completed the Chinese portion of the process. Now the tough part begins... US INS.

Friday July 23, 1999: On to Guangzhou
By this point Mu Ying is very distant from us she often runs away and spends all the time that she can with (our guide) Mary's son.   We are not certain that she will even get on the plane with us. We are shocked that not only will Mu Ying get on the plan but she loves the take-off and landing.   The evening plan calls for paper work and pizza. We are all very happy to have Pizza Hut pizza. Well all of us but Mu Ying. Mu Ying prefers rice and steamed vegetables. Wow she likes to eat a health diet.   Our guides are very proactive. Frank walks through the INS forms with all of the parents. This is the most critical part of the process. The Chinese authorities can be reasoned with. In contrast to the US INS personnel. To the INS life is simple. You either meet the requirements and get your child's visa or you do not meet the requirements and do not get a visa.   Saturday July 24, 1999: The end is in sight...   We began to feel as though we are closing in on the end of our journey. Looks like we would make it home with Mu Ying. She is increasingly unhappy. This is a big change for a child.

Sunday July 25, 1999: Waiting…
	Sight seeing and shopping... again. Buddhist temple and a porcelain shop. We see some very beautiful items but our hearts are just not into shopping.   Our troubles are well known by the rest of our party. Several members of our party try to console us. Those who where with us in Nan Chang are used to us searching hotels and chasing Mu Ying in elevators.     Monday July 26, 1999: Waiting… Photographs for the US INS.    Medical and Lots of vaccines for Mu Ying. She must never have had a vaccine. We are told that the orphanages allot 10 RMB / child / year for medical. That works out to be about $1.25. I could not watch Mu Ying get her six vaccines. She was very upset by this experience. Two nurses were needed to hold her during the procedure. Ouch.

Tuesday July 27, 1999: The End.
Today Mu Ying began the day by running away. She will not eat with us or spend time with us.    We believe that she would come around if we could get home with her and let things calm down. There is a great deal of emotion surrounding the proceedings. We are sightseeing but our minds are always on the future. How can we make this work how can we get her to accept us. We are all anxious to get done and go home.
	After breakfast Mu Ying ran away for the longest time yet. Small, seemingly insignificant events will cause major blow ups. We are just trying to keep things calm till we get home. But, the situation is rapidly getting worse.   We went to the Guangzhou zoo today. Frank and the other guides tried to get Mu Ying to spend some time with us. We are all very stressed by the tension. Paige and Rose feel rejected and can not understand why Mu Ying can not just accept them as her sisters.   Kathryn told them that Mu Ying does like us but she is about to leave everything that she has ever known and go home to a strange faraway land with people she does not know.
While leaving the hotel room for dinner Mu Ying threw the biggest tantrum yet. Once again we get Frank (our guide). He and Marylyn are not able to calm her down. Mu Ying will not stay with us. She does not want to go with us.   Mu Ying decides that she will not go with us. She spends the night with our guides, Frank and Marylyn. Around midnight Frank and Marylyn come to tell us that Mu Ying will not go with us. They believe that she did not know what adoption meant. They tell us that she believed that she was going on a trip to the US to play with some American girls and she would then return in a few months. Frank tells us that we must return Mu Ying to Nan Chang and the Orphanage. Mu Ying is old enough to decide if she will go or not, Frank tells us.